Jude's Rhyming Ode to Codgerhood!

Do you know the signs of age-induced codgerhood? Senior status creeps up on us all eventually so perhaps the following Ode may serve as a useful guide for pre-codgers who only think they know what to expect!

When your eyesight starts to fade

and it's too hot in the shade

you're a codger

When you want a chair that's cushy

just to satisfy your tushie

you're a codger

When your meds are piling up

and Mylanta's in your cup

you're a codger

When the president's quite old

and his policies too bold

you're a codger

When you vote just like a trooper

though your country's in the pooper

you're a codger

When your knees are feeling weak

so a heating pad you seek

you're a codger

When your ears are awfully crusty

and your memory too rusty

you're a codger

When your BP's on the rise

to your doctor no surprise

you're a codger

When you once were very groovy

like a hip cat in a movie

you're a codger

When your beard is white not gray

and your eyebrows fade away

you're a codger

When your double chin's a beauty

and you sport a wide patootie

you're a codger

When your boyancy is sinking

and your feet have started stinking

you're a codger

When your skin is rather itchy

then your singing voice grows pitchy

you're a codger

When your Dotage Discount Day

makes it less you have to pay

you're a codger

When your cheeks begin to sag

and your grand kids think you nag

You're a codger

When your head's a little lightish

and your waistband's way too tightish

You're a codger

When your doctor is a child

and your nostril hairs grow wild

you're a codger

When your trying harder lapses

and you've lost a few synapses

you're a codger

When your eyelids are so twitchy

and your side is rather stitchy

you're a codger

When your standing is unfit

so you think you'd better sit

you're a codger

When your hair is getting thin

recognize the shape you're in

you're a codger

When you say just what you think

which makes everybody blink

you're a codger

When your face is very rosy

and your walking speed is mosey

you're a codger

When a crone they start to call you

and it doesn't really gall you

you're a codger

When your lobes are drooping low

so those earrings have to go

you're a codger

When your bed's your bestest friend

then it's time this Ode must end

you are most assuredly a codger!

There are lots more Ode-ish rhymes where these came from but you get the point--so get busy 'cos your Time's a-wastin'!

Submitted respectfully by Jude Cowell December 5, 2017 11:30 am est

#CodgerLivesMatter