Do you know the signs of age-induced codgerhood? Senior status creeps up on us all eventually so perhaps the following Ode may serve as a useful guide for pre-codgers who only think they know what to expect!
When your eyesight starts to fade
and it's too hot in the shade
you're a codger
When you want a chair that's cushy
just to satisfy your tushie
you're a codger
When your meds are piling up
and Mylanta's in your cup
you're a codger
When the president's quite old
and his policies too bold
you're a codger
When you vote just like a trooper
though your country's in the pooper
you're a codger
When your knees are feeling weak
so a heating pad you seek
you're a codger
When your ears are awfully crusty
and your memory too rusty
you're a codger
When your BP's on the rise
to your doctor no surprise
you're a codger
When you once were very groovy
like a hip cat in a movie
you're a codger
When your beard is white not gray
and your eyebrows fade away
you're a codger
When your double chin's a beauty
and you sport a wide patootie
you're a codger
When your boyancy is sinking
and your feet have started stinking
you're a codger
When your skin is rather itchy
then your singing voice grows pitchy
you're a codger
When your Dotage Discount Day
makes it less you have to pay
you're a codger
When your cheeks begin to sag
and your grand kids think you nag
You're a codger
When your head's a little lightish
and your waistband's way too tightish
You're a codger
When your doctor is a child
and your nostril hairs grow wild
you're a codger
When your trying harder lapses
and you've lost a few synapses
you're a codger
When your eyelids are so twitchy
and your side is rather stitchy
you're a codger
When your standing is unfit
so you think you'd better sit
you're a codger
When your hair is getting thin
recognize the shape you're in
you're a codger
When you say just what you think
which makes everybody blink
you're a codger
When your face is very rosy
and your walking speed is mosey
you're a codger
When a crone they start to call you
and it doesn't really gall you
you're a codger
When your lobes are drooping low
so those earrings have to go
you're a codger
When your bed's your bestest friend
then it's time this Ode must end
you are most assuredly a codger!
There are lots more Ode-ish rhymes where these came from but you get the point--so get busy 'cos your Time's a-wastin'!
Submitted respectfully by Jude Cowell December 5, 2017 11:30 am est
#CodgerLivesMatter
